So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
