Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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