I think I died a long time ago.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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