Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
