obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
