Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
