Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
