The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
