stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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