I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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