Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
