I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
