you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
