White coat. Heels.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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