So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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