All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
