my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize