She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
is it fun? or sober?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
