Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize