I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
