I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to calm my uterus...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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