he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
