and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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