Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
