Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
