then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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