Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
