I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So many bounce houses so little time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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