I cockslap morals
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
