I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
