Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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