Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize