Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
