my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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