I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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