If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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