next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize