My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
