Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
40s are totally the cure
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
