It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
