I need help removing her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
