I can tuck mytits in my pants
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
