i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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