Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize