I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
