ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize