Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
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I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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