Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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