the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
