His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hope mine doesn't look like that
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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