Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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