I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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