it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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