i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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