tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
