btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
