Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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