do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
