just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
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Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize