Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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