How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
