Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
