Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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