By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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