I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize