Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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