drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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