id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
