How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize