another moral hangover. fuck.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
