I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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